What would you do for a Klondike bar?
by PinkPlagueRat
Summary: What happens when a talk show with the topic "what would you do for a Klondike bar" goes wrong? R


LOL! I GOT THE IDEA LAST MIGHT WHEN I WAS WATCHING A KLONDIKE BAR COMMERCIAL!

WELL ENJOY THE FIRST EPISODE OF HTF SHORT SERIES!

A purple beaver walks on the stage. "Hey, hey, hey folks! Today we have a very special episode of Talk Time with Toothy! Now I've noticed that it's summer and that more and more happy tree town residents are buying Klondike bars! Our question here today is how far will they go! But they don't know that every question that's pertaining to a friend is back stage listening to their answers! So here's our first guest!"

A green squirrel jack hammered on to the stage giggling hyperactively. "Ok please stop, uh whatever it is your doing and sit down." The green squirrel sat in the chair still giggling. "So why don't you tell us your name." "Uh, ok, my name is Nutty, tee hee!" "Okay, here's your first question. Would you go to Walmart, open up a pack of skittles and throw it at people yelling "Taste the fucking rainbow!" "Hell yeah! I did it before and I'll do it again!" Nutty said hyperactively.

"Ok would you go all the way with a guy?" Nutty's smile turned into a mouth of gape. "Go fuck yourself." Nutty stormed off the stage. "Whoops! Sorry folks apparently some people are bitchy at nine o'clock in the damn morning! Well its time for a commercial break!"

--

"Ok were back! Please welcome our second guest!" The audience starts clapping to welcome a green bear that comes on the stage. The green bear sits down. "So, what's your name?" "Flippy" "Well Flippy you like Klondike bars right?" "Um, yeah."

"Alright worst case scenario, you're hungry and your girlfriend is starving, there's only one more Klondike bar in the freezer, will you give it her or will you eat it and say that it melted?" Flippy thought long and hard. "Um, well Flaky can come back but not the Klondike bar ,so yeah I would eat it and say that it melted." The audience gasped in shock. "Ok next question, Will you kill your evil side for twenty Klondike bars?"

"Of course! He's caused nothing but death and misery to me all my friends, that sick bastard has to die!" Flippy yelled. "Holy shit!" Flippy ducked before the chair could hit him. "Who throws a fucking chair from the audience?" "Ok, alright last question, your friends are drowning, one of them left a stack of Klondike bars on the nearby table, would you waste your time saving them, and taking them to a hospital, or would you take the Klondike bars to your house and eat them before they melt?"

"Uh lets see, I have no friends so of course I'd take the Klondike bars." "Wow, you'd actually want to see people die for Klondike bars?" "Yeah, why is so interesting to you??" Flippy got up and walked off the stage.

--

"Well if some body is willing to see their friends die than one can only imagine how far some people would go! Please welcome our next guest" An orange beaver cheerfully walks on to the stage, Toothy starts to eye his stumps and chuckled a bit. "Have a seat!" The orange beaver sits down. "So do mind telling us your name?" "Sure, my name is Handy!"

"Handy?" "Yes my name is Handy" Toothy chuckled a bit. "What's wrong with my name?" Handy said a bit angry. "W-well it's just that you have no arms so I'm wondering why do they call you handy if you have no hands and clearly can't open doors" Toothy started to laugh at loud, and so did the audience. "I-I'm sorry about that" Toothy said recovering from his overbearing laugh. Handy starts to forget about it quickly.

"Ok, ok settle down people. All right Handy, you like Klondike bars right?" "Yes." "Okay, first question, let's say that your friend's girlfriend gets wasted, she offers you sex and 25 Klondike bars, would you take the offer?"

"Well no for two reasons number one I would never sleep with a friends girlfriend, number two, I have these freaking stumps I call hands so I can't unwrap the damn Klondike bar!"

"Whoa, no need to get all pissy about it, but what if she were to feed them to you?" "Who are we talking' about here?" Handy asks. "The blue skunk" "Um, w-well honestly yes, yes I would take the offer."

"So you would betray a good friend for twenty five Klondike bars?" Toothy asked surprised, "Well, it's not only for her feeding it to me, it's that her boyfriend is Nutty, on day he came up to me, laughed at me and said "Ha, ha, ha you're an amputee!" and ran away! Of course I'd do that!"

"Okay next question, Worst case scenario, what if the Klondike bar company went out of business, there is only one grocery store that has the last Klondike bar ever to be made, you're somehow driving to the grocery store like a mad speed demon before anybody buys it, but then up ahead you see a red light and a yellow rabbit with a red porcupine crossing the street, would you run them over and skip the light, or would you wait one whole minute for them to cross, by the time you get there some one buys the last Klondike bar, and you walk away in shame, which option will you choose?"

"Uh, I would skip the light run over Cuddles and Flaky, and get to the store." Handy replied coldly. "How can you say it so coldly? Oh well, who cares, next question, Let's say you and you and your friend Russell are walking down the side walk. Russell happens to have a Klondike bar ,then some guy comes from behind and tackles Russell, would you risk your life trying to save him or will you save his Klondike bar and run off?"

"Well I can't save Russell, but I can save his Klondike bar!" Handy said cheerfully. "Wow, you'd kill people, and let them die for a stupid ice cream square covered in chocolate? You people are sick, but anyways we'll be right back after these messages!"

--

"Okay, and were back! Please welcome our next guest." A red shy-looking porcupine giggles nervously and walks over to the chair. "Mind telling the audience your name?" "Uh, he, he my name is F-Flaky" Toothy laughed a bit. "What's so funny?" She asked nervously. "Well it's just that the name Flaky is a girl's name"

"What? But I am a girl!" "Oh, uh well this is awkward, but any ways your first question. Say you just finished playing base ball with the boys, as you leave Giggles and Petunia are have a tea party but they also have Klondike bars. They ask for you to join, you say no thank you. As you walk away you hear the both of them call you a boy, what would you do to get the Klondike bars?"

"W-well I'd take the baseball bat and swing their heads right off their bodies" Flaky said. "Ouch that's harsh man!" "I'm a girl!" "Of course you are, but anyways on to the next question. If some one offered you a Klondike bar would you take it?" "Um s-sure." Flaky said timidly. "Wait, but it comes with a cost. You have to walk up to a guy in a wheel chair and say "Ha, ha, ha you're in a wheel chair!"

"Uh, no" "Well what if it were for a hundred Klondike bars?" Flaky started to sweat. "Uh, sure it's not like I know the guy" "Wow, you would make fun of a guy in a wheel chair? Oops it's time for a commercial break!" Toothy pushed Flaky off the stage.

--

"And we're back with the second part of the show and the best part of the show! Please welcome our next guest, and my friend, Petunia!" Petunia walked onto the stage waving and constantly looking on the floor to see if there was any dust or dirt. Petunia took out a piece of cloth put it on the chair and then sat on it. "Hey Petunia!" "Hi Toothy!" she said cheerfully. "So, you like Klondike bars?"

"Sure who doesn't?" "Well you're here today to answer three questions on how far will you go for a Klondike bar. This is your first question, You have a secret admirer, would you go so far as to pretend to like him for ten Klondike bars?"

Petunia bit her lower lip. "Well its kinda harsh but, yeah I would it" Toothy's smile turned into a frown _She'd pretend to like me? _ "Uh okay, would you steal your best friend's boyfriend for one thousand Klondike bars?" Petunia scratched her head. "Depends, which friend are we are we talking about?" The audience laughed.

"We're talking about Giggles." "Giggles huh? Hmmm well I think it's only fair that I steal one of her boyfriends, I mean she did to me before." Petunia said nonchalantly." Whoa, you would tear a perfectly good relationship apart, for a Klondike bar? Wow."

"Alright time for a next question. Would you cheat on your boyfriend knowing you would never catch you for twenty five Klondike bars?" "Uh, yeah I guess." Petunia chuckled nervously.

"Alright, last question. Would you lie to a friend about them being attractive? This is for 2 Klondike bars" "Um, yeah I mean the truth hurts right?" Petunia said. Toothy laughed slightly "Wow. Well that's all your questions, we'll be right back after these messages!"

--

"And we're back! If one girl can deceive her friends and boyfriend, I'm afraid to hear what this girl would do. Please welcome my next guest and my other friend Giggles." Giggles skips happily to Toothy. ":Hi Toothy!" She says in a peppy cheerful voice.

"Have a seat Giggles." Giggle sat down _still _giggling. "Ok, can we get back to business please Giggles?" Giggles stopped giggling and looked at Toothy. "Do you know why you're here?" "Yeah! I'm here to answer questions about how far will I go for those super awesome Klondike bars!" Giggles said excitingly.

"Okay, first question and worst case scenario, You're in the grocery store, you see a little kid trying to get the last Klondike bar, would you help him get the Klondike bar, or would you take it right in front of the little kid and walkway." "Um I would most likely take the Klondike bar and walk away like nothing happens" Giggles said coldly. "Wow you would do that?" "Yep!"

"Anyway, Would you kill Petunia for her secret stash of Klondike bars?" "Yes! God I hope she's not hearing this." Toothy started to sweat a little. "What ever, would you steal a Klondike bar from a blind person?"

"Of course!"

"Will you make fun of Cuddles' ears for one Klondike bar?" Giggles started to laugh uncontrollably . "Of course! Come on do see how big those things are! Even for a damn rabbit!" Toothy started to laugh as well. "O-okay Giggles your time is up, here's a Klondike bar knock yourself out!" Giggles grabbed the Klondike bar and ran off the stage.

Toothy recovered from his laughs. "O-okay I forgot to say that each person we talked about is back stage hearing everything our guests say! Here's our next guess Cuddles." Cuddles stormed onto the stage looking pissed off. "You'd laugh at me behind my back for a fucking Klondike bar!" Cuddles yelled.

"Calm down Cuddles' I'm sure you'll do worse to Giggles" Toothy said "Hmmm maybe I do"

"Alright Cuddles worst case scenario, you and Giggles are in a hot air balloon, it's going down and you need to get rid of the extra weight, but on the other hand there's a whole pile of Klondike bars in the hot air balloon, would you throw out Giggles and let her fall to her death, or would you throw out the Klondike bars you spent two hundred and fifty dollars for?"

"I'd throw Giggles out, hell she weighs more than two hundred fifty pounds worth of Klondike bars anyway!" Toothy fell out of his chair laughing" "Sorry Cuddles but you only get to answer one question, we're running out of time" Cuddles walked up to Toothy and slapped him "You're such a dick man!"

"Uh, alright people we're out of time join us next week on Talk Ti-" Toothy stopped when he heard a glass bottle break. "What the hell was that?!" Toothy went backstage. "Don't you bastards know people can hea-"

Toothy ducked when a glass Snapple bottle almost hit his face. "What the fuck?" Toothy saw all the guests and some special audience fighting. Cuddles was punching Giggles in the face until she kneed him. She ran from Cuddles but he ran after her. Giggles grabbed a steel chair and smacked Cuddles in the face with it. Giggles sighed contently and turned around to feel someone punching her in the nose. "You'd kill me for a stupid Klondike bar!" Petunia yelled as she slammed Giggles' face on the floor.

Nutty came from behind and choke slammed Petunia on the hard wooden floor. "Score one for Nutty!" "Score two for Petunia!" Petunia got up and hit Nutty in the face with a glass Snapple bottle. Nutty screamed and slipped on his own blood.

Petunia and Giggles quickly recovered and saw Flaky cowering in fear. They ran towards Flaky, picked her up and pushed her against the wall quill-first, Petunia and Giggles started to punch and kick Flaky.

Flippy came from behind and stabbed Giggles and Petunia in the stomach.

He threw both the bodies on the floor. Evil Flippy came from behind Flippy and stabbed his arms and legs. He threw Flippy on the floor and then began to stab him in the stomach repeatedly. "You little shit! I went out of my way to help you in the war and you'd just kill me for a fucking fatty snack!?"

Handy was hiding underneath a table when somebody dragged him out. "H-hey what are you doing?!" Handy turned to see Russell about to stab him with the hook. "Stop please have mercy on me!" Handy cried. Russell slashed the hook on Handy's right cheek. (The face one)

"Stopppppppppp!" Everybody turned or recovered to see Toothy standing on a table with a megaphone. "I got a call from the Klondike bar company, they said that they're going out of business so I have the last Klondike bar ever! Who wants it?" Every body immediately got up and shook the table trying to make Toothy fall.

"Wait a minute! This will go to the highest bidder!. "Highest bidder?! 100,000 dollars!" Nutty yelled. Cuddles glared at Nutty. "200,000!" Nutty glared back at Cuddles. "1,000,000,000!" Cuddles was mouth of gape. "Sold!" Toothy threw the Klondike bar at Nutty, who devoured it instantly.

(Time skip- 1 day)

"Well, well ,well Toothy, you're fired!" Lumpy said" What the hell, why am I fired?" "Well let's see, you and your talk show is controversial not only the Klondike bar topic but all the other ones, you caused like 4 people to die, you caused a fight that ruined nearly all our equipment, you did illegal bidding, and you lied about the Klondike bar company going out of business, what the hell is wrong with you!"

Nutty kicked in the door to Toothy's office, he had crutches after the injury he sustained in the fight. "You bastard! I went to the store and they still had Klondike bars!" Nutty used one of his clutches and smacked Toothy in the face with it.

"Oh my god! That was so funny how about we offer you to take the lead in your new show!" Lumpy said shaking Nutty's hand. "Yes! I'm gonna call it Talk Time with Nutty!"

WOW ONE SHOW TURNS INTO A DISASTER!

LOL WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR, WILL YOU KILL YOUR FRIENDS, LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, KILL YOUR ANNOYING NEIGHBOR? R&R


End file.
